do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
