Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
This baby is an asshole
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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