There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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