yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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