Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
