im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
