why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
