Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
