I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
