don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
