i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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