dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
