sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
