Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
