I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
