He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
