I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
