Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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