i think i have herpe
just one?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
