You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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