youre lurking in front of me
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
