There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
