i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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