How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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