The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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