the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
