sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize