nut hugger
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
