Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
