Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
