I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
