dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
