So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
