take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
