yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
