I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
