Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
