Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
