you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
