Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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