Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
