Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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