how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
