i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
