i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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