I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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