Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize