The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
