I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize