Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
