I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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