I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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