If i come over, it means nothing
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Randomize