strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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