This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My vagina just clenched in fear
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
