Christians are straight up FREAKS
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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