You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
