Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
