ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
