Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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