She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
