It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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